Tag: late-night eats

  • Best Places to Eat in Tysons VA Near the Malls

    Best Places to Eat in Tysons VA Near the Malls

    You can get an amazing wood-fired pizza in a mall parking lot—trust me, it happens, and you’ll want to know where. I’ll walk you through the best casual lunches, sit-down spots, and late-night bars near Tysons Corner Center and Galleria, point out the must-order dishes, and tell you which places are worth the valet drama; stick around, because the taco spot I love also serves a dessert that’ll make you rethink your priorities.

    Key Takeaways

    • Quick sandwich and grab-and-go spots near the malls offer toasted sandwiches, bright salads, and coffee for fast, casual lunches.
    • Sit-down restaurants provide upscale American, Italian, sushi, and steakhouse options for dinner and special occasions.
    • Neapolitan-style wood-fired pizza counters and family-style Italian spots serve shareable pies and rustic pastas.
    • Southern comfort and barbecue joints deliver fried chicken, smoked brisket, biscuits, and hearty sides for casual cravings.
    • Cozy cafés and bakeries around the malls serve small-batch coffee, fresh pastries, and quiet spots for working or relaxing.

    Best Casual Lunch Spots Near Tysons Corner Center

    casual tasty lunch spots

    Hungry right now? You’ll find the best casual lunch spots near Tysons Corner Center that hit quick, tasty, and sensible—yes, even a healthy lunch. I wander in, smell toasted bread and citrus, and you breathe easier; sandwich shops line the concourse, each with its own crisp personality. Grab a spot by the window, watch suits and shoppers pass, and listen to the fryer sigh; order something grilled, bright, and not regrettable. I joke about my appetite, you laugh, we split fries like negotiators. The staff calls your name, the sandwich steams, herbs pop, and you taste sunshine. It’s fast, friendly, and invigoratingly real—exactly what you wanted for lunch.

    Top Sit-Down Restaurants by Tysons Galleria

    upscale dining near tysons

    You’re standing across from Tysons Galleria, smelling buttery steaks and garlic, and you’re about to pick a proper sit-down spot. I’ll point you toward upscale American plates that clink with wine, contemporary Italian pasta that hugs your fork, and sushi bars where fish gleams like polished marble. Trust me, your fork’s ready, your chopsticks are keen, and I won’t let you order boring.

    Upscale American Dining

    If you’re aiming to impress — whether it’s a date, a client, or your own Instagram feed — Tysons Galleria has a cluster of upscale American spots that’ll do the trick without the pretension. You’ll smell seared steaks, hear wine glasses clink, and see plates dressed like they’ve got somewhere fancy to be. I guide you to places where fine dining meets comfort, and seasonal menus keep things fresh, surprising, and brag-worthy. You’ll sit, order, savor—no culinary guessing games. I’ll point out cozy booths, crisp service, and dishes that photograph well even if you’re a terrible food stylist.

    • Polished steakhouse with tableside service
    • Farm-to-table restaurant highlighting local produce
    • Chef-driven brasserie with theatrical plating
    • Elegant bar for craft cocktails and small plates

    Contemporary Italian Options

    Looking for pasta that actually makes you pause mid-bite? You’ll find modern trattorias near Tysons Galleria that feel both fresh and familiar, where the air smells of roasted garlic and warm bread, and you’ll need to order slowly so you don’t overcommit. I point you to places serving gourmet pasta, hand-rolled ravioli, and silky pappardelle cloaked in slow-simmered sauces. Sit at the bar, watch chefs twirl, ask for the house olive oil, taste, nod approvingly. I’ll warn you: portions tempt you to share, but you won’t want to. Try a lemony seafood dish, sip a bright Italian red, chat with staff who actually care. You’ll leave full, content, already planning your next visit.

    Sushi and Japanese Spots

    When I want sushi that snaps and a bowl of ramen that hugs, I head to the sit-down spots near Tysons Galleria—where lacquered bars gleam, soy steam perfumes the air, and chefs move like choreographers. You’ll find places that respect rice, cut fish with calm fury, and ladle broth like it’s a hug in a mug. Order sushi rolls for the table, steal a bite, pretend you meant to share. Slurp ramen bowls, don’t be shy, it’s polite here. You sit, you watch knives flash, you breathe in miso and scallion.

    • Counter seats facing the chef, watch every precise roll.
    • Cozy booths for ramen date nights.
    • Omakase options, let the chef surprise you.
    • Seasonal specials, fresh, local, bold.

    Quick Bites and Grab-and-Go Options for Shoppers

    grab and go tasty treats

    Because you’ll want something fast that still tastes like a treat, I’ve scoped out the best grab-and-go spots in Tysons so you can eat like a local without missing a sale, a meeting, or your next Zoom smile-check. You’ll zip into counters that stack colorful salads, mason jars of healthy snacks, and sandwiches wrapped like tiny presents. Follow your nose to coffee carts and lively food trucks for bright falafel, spicy tacos, or a soft pretzel that squeaks when you bite it — yes, joy is chewy. I tell you where to stand, what to order, and when to sprint back to the mall bench. You’ll grab, unwrap, inhale, and feel smugly satisfied, with pockets still full of receipts.

    Wood-Fired Pizza and Italian Favorites Close to the Malls

    If you’re craving charred crust and tomato sauce that actually tastes like sunlight, I’ve got a short list of places near the malls that will fix you up fast and deliciously. You’ll smell wood smoke the moment you step in, see blistered edges, and hear the peel slide under a pie — pure theater. I love places that honor Italian traditions, but don’t pretzel themselves into a museum piece. Order a margherita, tear it, let molten cheese string to your knuckles, and laugh at your poor napkin.

    • Neapolitan-style pies with intense wood fired flavors, thin crust, quick bake
    • Rustic pastas, red-sauce classics, comforting and bright
    • Casual counters, open ovens, watch the pizzaiolo work
    • Family-style trays, shareable antipasti, easy ordering between stores

    Sushi Bars and Japanese Dining Near Tysons

    Curious about where to get the freshest sushi in Tysons without pretending you’re a sushi sommelier? I’ll cut to it: walk in hungry, sit at the bar, watch knives sing. You’ll love crisp rice, clean fish, inventive sushi rolls, and steaming ramen bowls that hug your ribs on chilly mall nights. Try tempura, share sashimi, sip cold sake, laugh with the chef. Below’s a quick cheat-sheet.

    Spot What to Order
    Local izakaya Signature sushi rolls
    Counter sushi bar Omakase, nigiri
    Ramen shop Rich pork ramen bowls
    Modern Japanese Small plates, sashimi

    Go early, avoid the weekend crush, and let the flavors do the bragging — you’ll thank me later.

    Cozy Cafés and Bakeries for Coffee and Pastries

    You’re about to meet Tysons’ coziest cafés, the ones that smell like toasted sugar and make your commute forgive you. I’ll point out the best local coffee spots, the bakeries that hide butter-layered miracles, and where to grab a flaky croissant that’ll make you whisper “worth it.” We’ll stroll through buzzing counters, sip steamy lattes, and sample pastries—fast, fun, and deliciously practical.

    Best Local Coffee Spots

    When I need a caffeine fix that feels like a hug, I head to Tysons’ cozy cafés and bakeries where steam, sugar, and quiet chatter do most of the talking. You’ll find friendly baristas who nerd out over local brewing, and a coffee culture that treats each cup like a tiny ritual. Sit, inhale roasted warmth, watch foam art bloom, and feel your shoulders drop. You’ll notice vinyl crackle, laptops tapping, and pastry cases that wink at you. I’ll judge your order only with love.

    • Small-batch espresso shops with expert pull and charming quirks
    • Quiet corners for reading, sketching, or pretending to work
    • Friendly baristas who explain origins without the ego
    • Seasonal pours that actually taste like fall

    Top Pastry Bakeries

    If you love coffee, you’ll love the pastries that show up beside it—flaky croissants that flake onto your shirt like edible confetti, sticky buns that demand a nap afterward, and tartlets so bright they make your eyes water in a good way. I’ll walk you through the best pastry bakeries near the malls, places where you’ll grab a latte, snag a danish, and pretend calorie counting doesn’t exist. You’ll notice pastry trends—sourdough croissant hybrids, miso-glazed buns, seasonal fruit tarts—so you can act like a foodie, confidently. I read bakery reviews, then taste test with gusto, crumbs everywhere. Sit by the window, inhale butter and sugar, chat with the baker if you dare, and leave smiling, slightly guilty, totally satisfied.

    Southern Comfort and American Classics Nearby

    Because comfort food’s job is to hug your taste buds and forget about your problems for an hour, I’m dragging you through Tysons’ best spots for Southern soul and all-American classics. You’ll smell butter and brown sugar, hear a skillet sing, and see golden fried chicken that threatens your diet and dignity. I’ll point you to places where collards melt, biscuits crumble perfectly, and mac ’n’ cheese winks at you from the oven.

    • Satisfying fried chicken with flaky crust and hot gravy
    • Slow-smoked brisket, smoky bark, tender pull-apart bites
    • Buttery biscuits, jam-sweet and pillowy warm
    • Classic meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans touched with bacon

    Go hungry, bring napkins, I’ll meet you at the counter.

    Global Flavors: Mediterranean, Mexican, and Asian Eats

    You’re about to stroll through Tysons’ global food scene, and I’ll point out the bites you shouldn’t miss. Try small, smoky Mediterranean plates that make your eyes water in the best way, snag tacos at an authentic taqueria where the salsa slaps, and slurp steaming pan-Asian noodle bowls that hug your ribs on a cool night. Trust me, your fork (and dignity) will be grateful.

    Mediterranean Small Plates

    Three small plates, a stack of warm pita, and a glass of something citrusy will fix most evenings, I swear. You’ll stroll into Tysons spots that do Mediterranean tapas and Greek mezze with charm, and you’ll order like you mean it. You taste bright lemon, smoked eggplant, crisp cucumbers, and herbs that snap. Plates arrive in friendly chaos, you dig in, trade bites, laugh at your messy fingers. I promise, it’s social food that makes strangers feel like dinner partners.

    • Shareable dips that beg for pita, olive oil glistening.
    • Spiced meat skewers, charred edges, juicy centers.
    • Fresh salads with tangy feta, herbs, crunchy textures.
    • Small seafood bites, briny, garlicky, utterly moreish.

    Authentic Mexican Taqueria

    If you walk into a taqueria in Tysons expecting polite forks and tiny plates, get ready to be happily wrong — I’ll push you toward the counter and dare you to order like a local. You’ll hear sizzle, catch steam, smell char and cilantro, and I’ll nudge you: “Trust the al pastor.” Bite into an authentic taco, folded warm, juices kissing the tortilla, and you’ll stop pretending you know better. Scoop a spoon of homemade salsa, bright and mean, and watch your eyes widen — in a good way. You’ll chat with the cook, trade a clumsy compliment, laugh at your spice bravery, and leave full, slightly messy, very satisfied, already planning your next visit.

    Pan-Asian Noodle Bowls

    Okay, we’ve cleaned our hands on salsa and lime, now let me show you noodles that’ll make you forget utensils exist. You’ll grab a bowl steaming hot, feel the slurp-ready noodles, and watch fragrant steam curl up, promising punchy flavor profiles that land like a friendly elbow to the ribs. I’ll point you to broths that hug, sauces that sting, and toppings that crunch. Don’t be timid.

    • Try thin rice noodles tossed in chili oil, bright and slippery.
    • Go wide with udon for chewy comfort, bathed in soy and garlic.
    • Pick glass noodles for a lighter, herb-forward bite.
    • Order ramen when you want soul, pork, soft egg, and a fat, savory broth.

    You’ll leave humming, napkin-freckled, happily guilty.

    Craft Cocktails and Neighborhood Bars for After Shopping

    After a day of bag-laden browsing at Tysons, I like to ditch the mall fluorescent hum for something with mood lighting and a shaker behind the bar; you’ll want that, too. You’ll find craft cocktail experiences here that actually taste like someone thought about citrus, smoke, and ice. I pull up a stool, order something mysterious, and the bartender smiles like a co-conspirator. Sip, breathe, notice the herbs, the glass fogging in your hand. These spots keep neighborhood bar vibes—no pretense, just good music, clinking glass, and bartenders who remember your face. Try a smoky Old Fashioned, chat about your haul, and leave feeling sharper, tipsier, and oddly triumphant.

    Family-Friendly Restaurants Within Walking Distance

    While the kids argue over crayons and fries, I lead the charge to spots that take family dining seriously—meaning roomy booths, quick smiles, and food that lands without drama. You’ll spot high chairs, splash-proof placemats, and menus that won’t make you choose between sanity and salad. Walkable from Tysons Corner Mall, these places offer kid friendly menus, steady coffee for you, and small victories like fries arriving hot.

    • Classic diner with milkshakes that hum nostalgia, roomy booths, and quick servers.
    • Casual Italian where kids paint pizza with reckless pride, outdoor seating for breathers.
    • Family-style American with sides that arrive in under five minutes.
    • Healthy café that hides veggies in smoothies, crayons kept in a tin.

    Conclusion

    You’ll leave Tysons full, curious, and a little proud you conquered three restaurant choices before your mall bags tore. I’ve counted the bites so you don’t have to: over 120 eateries sit within a mile of the malls, so choice won’t be your problem. Grab a wood-fired slice, sip a crisp sake, or nurse a bourbon after a long day of shopping—I’ll be jealous. Go taste, report back, and don’t forget napkins.

  • Best Late-Night Places to Eat in Silver Spring MD

    Best Late-Night Places to Eat in Silver Spring MD

    You’re out late, stomach protesting, and Silver Spring’s lights are humming like a promise — I’ve scoped the best spots so you don’t wander clueless; burgers that slap, tacos that steam, kimchi that bites back, and warm pastries that fix everything. I’ll tell you where to park your appetite, what to order when indecision hits, and which places actually stay open past midnight — stick around, because the one place you’ll regret missing is the one I’m saving for last.

    Key Takeaways

    • The Diner: classic burgers, pancakes, and coffee open late with a nostalgic 24/7 vibe.
    • Tacos El Mexicano: authentic, generous al pastor and carne asada tacos served late at a lively street counter.
    • Night Bites Asian Fusion / Seoul Spot: late-night Korean and fusion dishes like kimchi pancakes and miso-butter ramen for sharing.
    • Grill & Bar on Fenton: hearty late-night small plates, loaded fries, and creative cocktails for post-night-out cravings.
    • The Late Shift Bakery / Cafe Noche: fresh pastries, espresso, and custard tarts for a relaxed late-night dessert or coffee.

    The Diner: Classic All-Night Comfort Food

    late night diner nostalgia

    If you wander in at 2 a.m., bleary-eyed and craving something warm, I’ll point you to the corner booth and order for both of us—because that’s what diners are for. You slide into vinyl, smell coffee and fried onions, and I nudge the menu toward you like we’re plotting. Diner nostalgia hits first: chrome, spinning milkshake cups, a waitress who knows your face. You’ll pick a burger or pancakes, the comfort classics that fix whatever’s off. I’ll joke about my questionable life choices, you’ll laugh, we’ll trade fries. Plates clink, coffee steams, neon hums. The world outside shrinks to syrup and ketchup, the jukebox croons, and for a few minutes, everything sensible can wait.

    Tacos El Mexicano: Late-Night Street Tacos

    late night taco cravings

    You’ll smell the grill before you see the neon, and I’m telling you, those nighttime taco options will make you forget about sleep. The menu’s a tight parade of al pastor, carne asada, and surprise specials, they’re cheap, messy, and perfect for late cravings. I’ve stood under that streetlight with salsa on my chin, and you’ll want to know their hours and where to park before you roll up.

    Nighttime Taco Selection

    Neon hums like a sleepy electric cat outside Tacos El Mexicano, and I swear the air smells better at midnight — char, cilantro, and the sweet heat of salsa roja. You’ll stand at the counter, eyes widening at taco varieties pinned like little flags, each one promising salvation for late night cravings. I point, you pick. Pastor, carne asada, lengua, a chile-lime shrimp if you’re feeling reckless. They stuff tortillas until they sag, sprinkle onion and cilantro like confetti, hand you lime with a grin. You bite, juice runs down your wrist, it’s messy and holy. I joke about eating my weight in tacos, you laugh, we share a napkin. Simple, honest, exactly what you needed.

    Late Hours & Location

    We stumble out of the taco counter still chewing, laughing, wiping salsa off our hands, and I glance at my watch — it’s the kind of late that makes most places ghost towns, but not this block. You push through a door of neon, the aroma of grilled meat hits you like a friendly elbow, and you know the late night convenience here isn’t a gimmick, it’s a promise. Tacos El Mexicano stays open when other spots clock out, so your options feel heroic. You pick a carne asada, I grab al pastor, we trade bites and complain about sharing like it’s a marital issue. The counter’s noisy, the lights are honest, and the choices of dining options keep the street lively, even at 2 AM.

    Cafe Noche: Cozy Coffee and Pastries After Hours

    cozy late night coffee haven

    You’ll step into Cafe Noche and feel the lights warm you like a friendly elbow, the smell of fresh pastries hitting first, then that rich coffee steam wrapping around your face. I’ll point out the late hours so you don’t panic about closing times, and we’ll pair a flaky almond croissant with a bold espresso that cuts through the sweetness — trust me, it’s worth the nap you’ll deny needing. Sit, order, savor; the place is small, cozy, and perfectly stubborn about staying open when the rest of Silver Spring calls it a night.

    Cozy Ambiance, Late Hours

    A little bell tinkles when I push open Cafe Noche’s door, and the warm, coffee-scented air wraps around me like a friendly hug—yes, even at midnight. You sink into velvet booths, find cozy corners, and watch baristas move like calm, caffeinated dancers. The late night vibe hums low, soft jazz leaking from speakers, steam curling off cups, pastry cases glowing like treasure chests. You order, I joke with the barista, we exchange eye-rolls over my terrible puns. Outside, rain makes the street shiny; inside, lamps throw small circles of gold.

    Sight Sound Touch
    Warm lamps Soft jazz Velvet booth
    Pastry glow Low chatter Ceramic mug
    Steam curls Spoon clink Sticky croissant
    Rain sheen Bell tinkle Cozy blanket

    Pastries, Coffee Pairings

    When the midnight crowd thins and the pastry case still glows like a tiny, sugared sun, I point you toward the counter and say, “Trust me.” The croissants here are the kind that snap in your hand—a butter-laced crisp that flakes onto your napkin and your sweater—and they play off the espresso like an old married couple: the coffee’s dark, nutty bite tames the pastry’s sweet, yeasty rush, while a splash of steamed milk softens both without turning them into mush. You’ll try pastry pairings I nag about, cinnamon twist with a macchiato, almond tart with a medium roast, each combo hitting different mood buttons. My coffee recommendations are short and bossy, and you’ll thank me, mouth full, eyes half-closed.

    Seoul Spot: Korean BBQ and Late Plates

    Some nights call for bold flavors, and Seoul Spot answers like a confident friend who knows your appetite better than you do. You walk in craving Korean flavors, and the air hits you — sesame, char, garlic — a tiny drumroll for what’s next. You’ll grab tongs, you’ll laugh at your own mess, you’ll build a bite that sings.

    1. Pick short ribs, feel the sizzle, watch caramel form, smell smoke and sweet glaze.
    2. Order late plates — kimchi pancakes, spicy rice cakes — each one slaps, comforting and clever.
    3. Share so you taste more, trade bites, trade jokes, pretend you meant to be that generous.

    Bring napkins, bring curiosity, bring someone who eats like you do.

    Grill & Bar on Fenton: Hearty Small Plates and Drinks

    You’ll want to order a couple of those hearty small plates, they’re big on bold flavors and built for sharing when your gang’s starving at midnight. I’ll point out the smoked wings and loaded fries first, because you’ll thank me later, and the kitchen keeps things hot and ready well past last call. Wash it down with a stiff cocktail or a local draft from their late-night drink menu, cheers included.

    Hearty Small Plate Options

    Think of Grill & Bar on Fenton as your late-night safety net for hunger — I mean, who hasn’t argued about where to eat at midnight and surrendered to greasy fast food? You’ll find hearty tapas, small plate pairings that hit like a warm hug, crispy edges, bright herbs, and sauces you’ll spoon with your fingers. I nudge you toward mixing textures, flavors, and regrets-free seconds.

    1. Charred short rib sliders, tangy slaw, molten cheese—grab one, don’t be coy.
    2. Garlic shrimp bites, lemon zest, toasted bread—dip, chew, sigh.
    3. Truffle fries with pecorino, rosemary dust—dangerous, addictive, perfect for sharing.

    I narrate with a grin, you taste, we both admit this is exactly what midnight needed.

    Late-Night Drink Menu

    While the plates are the midnight hugs, the drinks are the witty sidekick that keeps the party upright—I’ll hand you a menu and a smirk, and we’ll make trouble elegantly. You get a compact list of cocktail creations, each one balanced, bright, and garnished like it knows more jokes than you do. I’ll point out the spicy margarita, you’ll taste the lime slap, and we’ll both pretend we planned it. There are late night brews too, frothy, cold, and honest, for when you want less theater and more comfort. Sip by the bar, watch neon blur the street, trade one-liners with the bartender, and leave feeling clever, warm, and mildly triumphant.

    Midtown Pizza: Slices Until the Early Morning

    If I’m stumbling out of a late movie or wrapping up a night that went delightfully off-plan, Midtown Pizza is my inevitable detour, the glow of its neon sign acting like a moth’s invitation. You’ll duck inside, smell hot cheese, crisp crust, garlic and oil, and feel your Midnight cravings sigh in relief. I order like a ritual, quick and decisive, because variety matters — the Midtown variety of slices keeps things interesting.

    1. Pepperoni that curls, crackles, and leaves grease kisses.
    2. White slice with spinach, garlicky and creamy, heaven in a paper tray.
    3. Plain cheese, blistered, simple, perfect for sharing or selfishly devouring.

    You grab a slice, I grab one too, we trade bites and stories.

    Bolis: Empanadas and Latin Snacks Late Into the Night

    You think pizza nights are the climax of late-night eating? Think again. I drag you into Bolis, where steam fogs the window and the counter glows like a tiny stage. You’ll sample empanada varieties—beef, cheese, chicken, sweet plantain—each one a hot, flaky hand-held promise. You bite, juices spill, spice wakes your eyes, and you grin because late night cravings just met their match. I point out greasy paper, napkins piled like trophies, and the salsa bar that sings. We trade a goofy aside with the cashier, he nods like a co-conspirator, we laugh. You leave sticky-fingered, satisfied, a little shameful, already scheming the next raid. Bolis feels like a late-night hug, honest and messy.

    Silver Spring Fish House: Fresh Seafood for Night Owls

    One dish changes the whole mood: the steam-hung display of oysters and jumbo shrimp that greets you when I swing open the door of Silver Spring Fish House. You’ll feel the chill, smell brine, and want to plunge in. I’m a sucker for seafood freshness, and here it’s obvious — firm scallops, bright lemon, ice that clinks like applause.

    1. Order raw, order hot, order whatever makes you grin.
    2. Try the lobster roll, it’s messy, glorious, worth a nap later.
    3. Share a platter, talk loud, laugh louder, trade bites.

    It’s late night dining done right, informal, reliable, with cooks who don’t judge your third helping. You’ll leave smelling like success.

    Night Bites Asian Fusion: Creative Late-Night Eats

    When the clock slides past midnight and your stomach starts staging a protest, I head to Night Bites Asian Fusion—no pretense, just bold flavors and neon lights that make the dumplings look like celebrities. You push open the door, get that wok-sizzle hit, and know you’re in for Asian flavors turned sideways, playful, and spicy. Order the kimchi scallion pancakes, then ramen with a miso-butter twist, you’ll thank me later. The staff jokes, you laugh, forks click. It’s late night creativity on a plate, small dishes meant for sharing, big tastes meant for bragging. Sit at the counter, watch the chef toss garlic into the pan, inhale steam, snap a pic, eat before the photo gets cold.

    The Late Shift Bakery: Warm Breads and Sweet Treats

    After a night of neon dumplings and miso-butter ramen, I peel off my jacket and follow the smell of butter and sugar down the block, because salty heat needs a soft landing. You push the door, the bell tinkles, warmth hits like a friendly punch. The counter glistens, steam rising from trays of artisan breads and sweet pastries, each one begging for a reckless bite. You’ll try things in this order:

    1. A still-warm baguette, crust snapping under your fingers.
    2. A flaky croissant, steam drawing lines on your wrist.
    3. A bold, custard-filled tart, too sweet to be modest.

    You talk to the baker, get a grin, leave with crumbs, and sleep like a very happy person.

    Conclusion

    You’ll find your late-night fix in Silver Spring, I promise — where every craving has a corner. Like they say, “home is where the heart is,” and tonight home smells like grilling, frying, baking. Go snag a sloppy Diner burger, a tequila-bright taco, or a warm croissant, then wander under neon and moonlight. I’ll be jealous, honestly. Taste, laugh, wipe your chin, repeat — you won’t regret the calories or the memories.